Chap. 305 Probation

Chap. 305 Probation

“This time I’m ready for any weather,” Risal said. K’ndar grinned. She had on a heavy jacket, a wool hat, and gloves. It was a bit warmer than needed for the dining hall.

“And of course, it’s going to be a warm day,” D’mitran said.

“I don’t care. I can always take stuff off.”

She opened a small basket. “I ordered lunches for us. I hope you like meatpies,” she said.

D’mitran grinned. “Me man,” he said, thumping his chest with a fist, “Man eat meat. Make strong like bull.”

She laughed.

She looked behind K’ndar and D’mitran.

“B’rost? He’s not coming today?”

“Apparently not,” K’ndar said. “He hasn’t answered his datalink, and I imagine he’s still smarting from yesterday.”

She shrugged. “Okay, I guess, but I can’t return his lunch. Maybe I should have waited to talk to you before I ordered them. He was pretty upset after you fired him,” she said, hesitantly.

“Fired him? No. I didn’t fire him. I DID have a talk with him.”

“Well, you did fire him, K’ndar, just not in so many words,” D’mitran said.

“Oh, yeah. You’re right,” K’ndar reflected, “Somehow it didn’t feel like firing, but I guess I did.” He shook his head. “I didn’t want to tear him up. I know what it feels like to be slashed in public. He’s my friend. This is why I hate being stuck being a leader. I’m not one if I can’t bear to chastise a subordinate.”

“Believe me, K’ndar, good leaders always feel that way,” D’mitran said.

“He talked to you yesterday? What did he tell you?” he asked Risal.

Risal sighed. “I don’t like to gossip, K’ndar. He’s the nicest person, he just needed to talk to someone,” she said.

“I know. You don’t have to relate what he said to you in private.”

“It wasn’t private, he came into Flight Ops to get weather for Southern Weyr. I asked him what was going on? and he told me. Loudly. He wasn’t so much angry as confused. He said he caught T’ovar, the rogue? That’s wonderful, by the way! But he believed you chewed him out because you were jealous he carried it off.”

“Argh,” K’ndar growled, “That’s not true, Risal. I wasn’t jealous, I was pissed that he took matters into his own hands while I was being told what to do by MY boss. I guess I didn’t clarify that, as a member of a team from Landing, he can’t interfere with the actions of a weyr, or a hold. I’m not saying what he did was wrong, T’ovar needed to be caught, and B’rost was instrumental in that! Southern Weyr has suffered a lot from his actions-some of the Lord Toric’s cotholders actually shoot arrows at dragonriders overhead!

But I don’t think B’rost grasped the concept that Landing has to be neutral. If he’d waited five minutes for the Weyrleaders to arrive, he wouldn’t have been chewed out. B’rost is brave, he’s clever but sometimes he goes off half nocked. He’s done risky things before. So far they’ve come off okay, but one of these days he’s going to get himself hurt-or worse.”

“B’rost has always been flighty. K’ndar, on the other hand, well, he’s so stoic you have to jab him with a pike to get a rise out of him,” D’mitran said.

“Whaat?” K’ndar protested. Risal giggled.

“He headed for Southern Weyr? That’s odd.”

“Not immediately. He said Raylan was going to talk to him, then he was going to pack up his belongings and head to Southern Weyr. I didn’t mean to pry, but I could see he needed to talk it out.”

She stuffed the lunches into her already packed backpack and shouldered it.

“I asked him, just offhand, why? what’s at Southern Weyr? and he said that he met one of Southern Weyr’s riders and they hit it off immediately, and he’s going to stay there for a while. He said he was getting tired of Landing and maybe he’d sign in there if he found he liked it.”

K’ndar shrugged. “No matter. He has a habit of landing on his feet. I hope he is happy, wherever he goes.”

Risal looked at him with a strange expression. “You’re not angry at him?”

“Angry? Not now, I’m not. Even yesterday, I was angry because of his just taking off like he did. But B’rost is B’rost. He’s done this before, it’s just who he is. I’m not going to change him. Anyway, if you’re ready? Let’s go surveying.”

“Can you wait a minute?” a voice said behind them.

They turned to see B’rost.

K’ndar flushed with shame at gossiping. They all felt twinges of guilt. Had he heard them talking about him?

“I heard,” B’rost said, as if he’d heard K’ndar’s thoughts. Of course, K’ndar thought, Raventh probably told Rath.

I didn’t. Rath said nothing Raventh said.

“Sorry, B’rost, we, I guess we were gossiping. I’m sorry. Um, are you,”

K’ndar started.

“Flying with you today? I don’t know. I’d like to,” he said.

There was an uncomfortable silence amongst the four. K’ndar felt embarrassed for his friend. And himself.

“B’rost, I’m sorry for beating you up yesterday,” he said.

B’rost sighed. “I was mad at you yesterday, K’ndar. Risal is right, I thought you were jealous of what I’d done.”

“I wasn’t. I didn’t sleep last night, some of it was due to just being wound up from the excitement, but mostly for chewing your arse. It was a brilliant move, B’rost, you took advantage of the one time T’ovar let his guard down. I should thank you.”

“No need. It was fun, to be honest. I enjoyed pulling his whiskers. Now I understand why you were so pissed.”

“So..um, did, uh, Raylan talk to you?”

B’rost shook his head. “No. After talking to Risal, I was about to leave when Raylan buzzed me saying he wanted to talk to me. I met him at Admin, he was about to take me into his workspace when suddenly this bronze fire lizard appears and chatters at us. Raylan must understand what it said because he says, “Right. Change of plans, B’rost, come with me and I’ll introduce you to Grafton.”

Risal and K’ndar sucked in their breath. Grafton was the official headman of Landing-and the unofficial chief of human relations. He commanded as much respect from everyone at Landing as the Council itself. D’mitran raised a curious eyebrow.

“Grafton?”

“Headman of Landing, and if there’s someone with more wisdom on Pern, I don’t know who it is. He’s..he’s what I imagine Aivas was like, except he’s human,” K’ndar explained.

“And a most disturbing one,” B’rost said. “I’d be lying if I said he didn’t scare the boots off me. Raylan pushes me into this tiny little hut and leaves me. It’s dark as the inside of a cow, the only light coming from two glowing green eyes up in the rafters. I thought, I’m dead, and I didn’t feel a thing! I’m standing there with my back to the door, wondering what in the world? and this soft, deep voice says, ‘there’s a glow on your right’. It scared me spitless. But I found the glow and as it gets brighter, I see this little man, with his back to me. He says “Hello, B’rost, rider of blue Rath,” and he turns around and I see his face, there were thread scars all over it, right across where his eyes used to be. He’s obviously blind, but he could see me! Not just see me, but read my blinking mind, too. I didn’t have to explain anything about yesterday. He KNEW.”

K’ndar nodded forcefully.

“Yes. That’s Grafton,” Risal said, and looked at D’mitran. “As K’ndar said, he’s Landing’s Headman, but that’s just one job he fulfills. Even the Council seeks him out if they’re stuck or need advice. He’s the most revered person at Landing. He’s wise and compassionate but if you’ve screwed up, if you’ve been sent to him to pass judgment on your crime, he can be pitiless. It’s that voice of his, and the eyes that aren’t. You don’t dare lie to him. The consequences are, um, uncomfortable,” she said.

B’rost looked at each of them in turn. “He talked so softly! But it was as if he had a mountain poised behind him, just waiting for me to lie, if I did it would fall on me.” He shivered. “That man is frightening, but somehow I knew he would never, ever hurt me. And after a while, after he told what I’d done wrong, even though it worked out right, I sort of got to liking him. He’s like Oscoral at the weyr. Only scarier. Grafton, he’s just this tiny man, but, I don’t know how to describe it, the life force in him? The energy? It almost crackles.”

K’ndar nodded.

“Anyway, now I understand, K’ndar. I’m sorry I’ve proven to be such a scatabout.”

“It’s okay, B’rost. And I apologize for lambasting you in public. I should have taken you aside.”

“Am I still fired from the team?”

“I didn’t-well, yes, I did fire you, didn’t I.”

“If I promise to be good, can I still play?”

“I thought you were going to go to Southern Weyr?”

“I can still do that. In fact I intend to, but not right now. Right now, I, um, would like to work with you on the survey.”

K’ndar was torn, but the change in B’rost was apparent.

“Did Raylan say anything about you continuing?” D’mitran said.

“He said, before the fire lizard showed up, that because I wasn’t actually staff here, that I answer to him.”

“So-perhaps you should ping him and ask? Because I was sort of fired, myself,” K’ndar said.

“NO, K’ndar! Because of me? No! If I’d known you’d be fired, I wouldn’t ever…” B’rost cried, aghast.

“No, no, it’s okay, B’rost. Well, in a way, you were the impetus for my being demoted. I’m no longer leader, I’m just the wherry eared twit on a dragon. And I’m happy because of it. I wanted to be demoted. Yesterday, Raylan finally understood how incapable I am of being a leader. So now it’s just-a team going out and surveying.”

“You’re not incapable, K’ndar,” D’mitran said. “There’s not a competent leader on Pern, in any capacity, who isn’t always second guessing himself. Do you think every time we launched to fight Thread that I had everything all lined up in my head? That I knew everything would happen in just such a way?”

K’ndar pondered that. “Well, yes. You seemed to have everything under control. Me, being ‘leader’, I was constantly beset with ‘what ifs’, what if this happens, what will I do if that doesn’t work, all the unknowns! At least when I flew in your wing fighting Thread, I trusted that yes, everything would be alright because you were leading it.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence, but you were naive. Every moment, I was wound up tight, worrying, worrying, would someone get scored, did someone panic, will someone get killed in an accident? Or worse, is a weyrling so full of unearned self confidence that they do something stupid?” He looked at B’rost. “Sort of like you, B’rost. I was glad you weren’t assigned to my wing. Your wingleader called you “Cardiac” behind your back.”

B’rost, chagrined, shrugged.

His datalink buzzed. He looked at it. “Ah. Raylan says, I may accompany the team if they approve. And, quote, “Remember, you’re on probation. Stay out of trouble and do as you’re told.”

He looked up at K’ndar, beseeching.

Risal and D’mitran looked at K’ndar.

“Come ON, folks,” K’ndar said, despairing.

“Just because you say you’re not, you’re still. Leader, I mean,” Risal said.

“Minus the pomposity,” D’mitran added.

“I’VE NEVER BEEN POMPOUS,” he protested.

D’mitran, laughing, stabbed the air with an invisible spear.

K’ndar submitted to the inevitable.

“Okay. B’rost, come along. Risal has your lunch.”

B’rost grinned.